I had a Sweet 16

People who throw the "You are not Mexican enough" phrase around are insecure about themselves or do not understand that everyone's experience as a Latino is different. I am proud to be a hybrid of what I am, Mexican-American and our rite of passage, the quince, is sacred and rightfully so, but it is not immune to change.

I recently wrote an article about sweet sixteens vs. the quinceañera for Being Latino magazine.  After writing it, I began reflecting on my own experience. 

I value traditions, but I like having my own style of doing things. So I guess putting a modern twist on my Mexican traditions was no surprise to my parents. My father offered to throw me a quince when I was fifteen, but I really did not consider one until I went to my best friend Jessica's party. I knew that I wanted elements of my party to be traditional like making sure I attended a mass even though I didn't understand a word that came from the Spanish speaking priest. I also knew that I would not compromise on the food. It had to be Mexican.

So when did my party become controversial?

When I opted for a Sweet 16 as a result of not speaking Spanish, my childhood friends thought I was being uppity. I personally felt that it made more sense for me to have a party that held an English title. Some of my friends thought I was a pocha, but I felt that it was completely out of line for them to think I was trying to be "white washed". Since we were young at the time, they did not understand that I was not first generational Mexican-American like them.  Therefore, I was never raised going to quinces until I became their friend. If anything, I thought that they would have been proud that I was embracing a side of my culture that I did not know by still including elements of a quince into my party.

Do not get me wrong, my parents and grandparents are not out of touch with being Mexican. We still make fresh salsa, have close familial ties, drink champurado during Christmas and have menudo breakfasts on Sunday, but my family is way more Angelino (from Los Angeles) with a flair of gangster than they are first generational Mexican.

The difference between what I identify with culturally and that of a first generational Mexican-American is further exaggerated in my adult life. I married a first generational Mexican-American and we can be so different in our customs at times, but I love it.

After Jorge read my article in the magazine, he asked what my preference would be for our daughter. With some thoughtful discussion, we both decided on giving our daughter the option to choose as long as both sides of us, Mexican and American, are accurately reflected.

Being a Latina is complicated.